Dec 5, 2008

No Really, You Shouldn't Have

'Tis the shopping season so isn't it my duty to advise you on the must and must not of Christmas 2008? I'd love to hear about the strangest gift you ever received. Write me and I'll post them in 2009! Happy Holidays everyone.

Here are some ‘gift’ ideas that got me thinking two things: 1. “Why didn’t I invent that? But mostly I was thinking 2. WTF?!!!

In no particular order of preference under my tree:

-Chew by numbers: Gum art kit. This is just wrong. But I do think high school kids in detention can actually be more ‘artistic’ now when they have to scrape gum off the bottom of chairs and desks.

-Cat towel holder. (Imagine where you stick it). All I can say is…me OW! Grrrrr.

-Baguette keyboard wrist rest. Ummm....for those of you wondering…no, people in France do NOT use these in their offices, and no matter what the sales guy tries to tell you, you will not look tres chic.

-Who would want a regular hotdog when you can have a hotdog shaped like an octopus? Yeah, that’ll make it taste better!

-Durex Tingle Condoms. When Bengay on your privates just isn’t enough?!

The ones I like

-Stress relief. This device is hooked up to your computer via USB, and comes with just one big, fat, red button with the word "STRESS" boldly printed across it. Pressing it will activate one of three different screen effects including a simulated bomb explosion (I can control the world----wah ha ha), or a boss punch-out (that feels better, press it again).

-Gin and Titonic, shaken not stirred. Ice cubes in the shape of the doomed ocean liner in your cocktail. Fabulous! Perfect for the christening of your new yacht don ‘t you think? I saw these at a quirky shop on Rue du Bailli in Brussels. Ask for a gin and tonic at my house next time!!!

-Action figures for adults---Barack Obama and John Mccain. It’s where the real action is. I really wish they had bobble heads. I love that the John McCain doll was marked down then discontinued. Life imitates art imitates life.

-Origami post it note pads. Seriously, if I were the receptionist at the office taking phone messages, this would be the best! Can you imagine: the boss walks in and asks ‘any messages?” and you take your message disguised as a bird, and flick it at her with your middle finger. Flipping the bird is now poetic justice.

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